Today I spent a lot of time alone with my thoughts. I have spent hundreds of days this way and I suspect that there are hundreds more to come. I thought of what it means to be alone versus being lonely, a subject I will tackle on a different day, as well as the topic of death. Death and I have had a strange relationship of the years. It is something I have never really feared, rather a concept a have slowly been preparing for. Now, preparing is a strong word, what I mean by that is I put a lot of thought into how I want to go, my burial, funeral ceremony and rites, etc.
A lot of those thoughts are childish fun or overly romanticized fantasy. Such as, in a nearby cemetery there is a hollow tree stump. When you look down upon the stump you can see a good ways down into the earth like an open shaft. I often joke that when I die, I want my bones cleaned and bleached to be placed into this hole. I want to be positioned in a way that looks like I am crawling out of the ground, mouth open hungry for flesh. There will also be LED lights inside the hole to complete the atmosphere.
At one point in time I used to fantasize about my life. Traveling the world, never settling down or meeting anyone. Eventually my life of leisure would lead me to become deathly ill. I would spend my last days in Venice with a dark haired prostitute. My last day, I would cough my last consumptive breath into a handkerchief while sitting with her at a marble fountain. She would give me a last kiss on my cheek and I would die in her arms.
Now, I bring all this up because I have been thinking about the movie High Fidelity, one of my favorite films. Now there is a scene where the characters are talking about music and death. First they come up with list, Top 5 Songs About Death. Eventually this turns into Rob's, John Cusack, 5 songs he wants played at his funeral. I have spent most of my afternoon and evening thinking of just that. What songs, what sentiments, would I want shared with my friends and family when I am gone. What words and thoughts do I want to leave with them.
So here it is, my list (with links). Five songs I want played at my funeral.
1) "Cold, Cold Rain" by Danzig
2) "Black Muddy River" by The Grateful Dead
3) "If I Have To Go" by Tom Waits
4) "Mortician's Lullaby" by Bronx Casket Company
5) "He Is" by Ghost
For those of you that know me, OF COURSE there had to be at least one song by Ghost on the list. I mean that is a given. From now until the big event, I think I will continue to romanticize death. It is part of life that always fascinated me. Maybe with time I will create a great funeral mix tape, something that can really shine. This isn't intended to be a sad post or anything of the sort, thinking about this actually brought me a lot of joy and gave my creativity a bit of a kick.
The other thing is, I know I didn't mention it before, I love making lists. I live for lists. I cannot get enough lists in my life. Every chance I have to make a list, I will. I limited myself to five to keep in theme with High Fidelity, but honestly I could have kept going and going and going. So before I start to ramble, I will call this entry closed.
Cheers,
Phil
No comments:
Post a Comment